Growing Up.

There is something in a kid’s body when they are about hmmmm let’s say a teenager, that just kicks into overdrive. When this gear is put into place, the engine explodes with raging hormones, flaring attitudes, and the strongest desire to grow up.

When we were little and our joints were growing we got growing pains in our knees and elbows. Sometimes we get stretch marks from our bodies growing too fast. Sometimes we have young faces. I know I always hear that I look younger than what I really am. When you are 45 years old and they tell you that you look young, that is an AMAZING compliment and it would surely make your day. But when you are 19 years old and someone says that you look 16? Not so cool.  

The raging hormones of the teenager fades and then you get an awkward 20, 21 year old, who is disgusted by their young sibling’s teenage behavior (because they are SO FAR past it) and instead trying to make sense of an organize a coming all too soon, future.

I have never got homesick, in all my years of going away, but I can’t make any promises about this year. Leaving home this summer will probably be the hardest one. Harder than all my years that I have left and went back to college. This summer is the hardest because this summer could be my last.

For all my ranting and raving about wanting to be independent and an adult, I don’t feel I’m ready. There are tons of “grown-up” tasks and duties that I wouldn’t have a clue how to tackle. It’s my senior year and unless I magically fail all over the place, then this year will be my last year in college and the next step is the real world.

I am twenty one years old, and in this moment I wish I could stay twenty one. I wanna stay a kid. (how immature, I know)

I feel like a selfish parent when they say “I just want you to stop growing”---well I do!! I don’t want my niece to keep getting taller every time I see her. I don’t want my brother to keep getting buff and start dating girls while I’m gone. I hate noticing that my parents look just a little bit older than they did before…

It’s a frustrating, heartbreaking, exciting, thing to grow up. Psh, and I’m not even all grown. There are friends my age who have apartments and husbands and kids. I don’t know how they did it. I’m sure they had some growing pains; I’m sure they have some stretch marks, as we all do.

We don’t stay the same. (And for those of you who do, get the hint, it’s time to grow up. Lol) We should always be growing, stretching, hurting, to be bigger, stronger, and better than we were before. Moving on and growing up is a big deal but thank God that it doesn’t happen in one night.