A Not So Happy Countdown to Go Home.

5 days until I go home

13 days till I’m back at school

26 days till I start my senior year

I am not ready for these things to happen quickly at all.
And I can honestly say that I do not want to leave Italy.

I will forever curse the Italians for polluting my lungs with their horrid habit of smoking, but other than that, I can’t complain much. Yes, it’s a little hot. Yes they don’t put ice in your drinks. Yes euro’s are a pain in the butt when you think about the American dollar. Yes, it’s a lot of walking if you aren’t use to it. Yes, the Italian men can be rather obnoxious.

But, I’ve learned to live, just for a small part of time, in peace with the Italians in Italy…and I love it. Yes I guess you could say that 6 weeks is still considered part of the “honeymoon phase” and maybe it is, but regardless, I don’t wanna go. L 

Can you blame me though? 

Loser Like Me.

I have never been the super popular girl. But I don’t think I have ever been super nerdy…okay I try my best to hide my obsession with getting A’s and show tunes, but I have always felt that my grounds lie in a comfortable middle ground. Until just now. Yup. I finally felt it. Like the true goodie tooshooes. The home body. The girl who follows the rules.

I swam in the exact opposite of everyone else. And it SUCKED. Not because I had an actual desire to follow everyone (and I’m grateful for that. I saved myself tons of embarrassment and a lifetime of guilt) but because I was alone. I love me some alone time, but on a Saturday night? And in Italy? NOBODY wants to be alone on a Saturday night in Italy.

So I hid in a room at the top of the villa, cried a little bit and skyped my family. While I was complaining about being alone, someone wandered up there. She said she was just curious about where the stairwell went….but I don’t think it was pure coincidence. I think God put each of us there to keep each other company that night. J We talked and hung out and realized that we had a lot in common. So turns out that I wasn’t the only loser that night.

And then I remembered one of my favorite songs from Glee (I warned that I was a bit of a nerd), Loser Like Me:

Yeah you may think that I'm a zero

But her, everyone you wanna be 

Probably started off like me 

You may think that I'm a freak show 

But hey, give it just a little time

I bet you're gonna change your mind 

Go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the words you got and knock me down

Baby I don't care

Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out 

You wanna be 

A loser like me 

I just hope that I am always that loser, crazy as it sounds. I'm going to fall and make mistakes all over the place. And that's why I think it's so funny when I get labeled as such a "good girl." We may not make the same mistakes...but I've got my share. And sometimes, I know that I'm GOING to follow the crowd and need to be a real loser to learn from my mistakes. That's the honest truth. In which case someone else will be singing this song about me. hahaa.....

But-- God takes us all back. No matter what crowd we followed, as long as we ultimately follow Him. And for that, I am so grateful. 

Nobody ever talked smack to my face or made me feel bad for going my own way, but I still felt the heat and tension while pushing past others to go the opposite direction. So I felt like a bit of a loser. But hey, you wanna be a loser like me.  

A Word or Two about Rome.

A word or two about Rome:

Let me just say that it is crazy to just be walking down a regular street and find the Colosseum or the Pantheon or the Trevi Fountain at the end of the block. Or to be walking in a plaza and have someone tell you that it used to be used for naval battles. NAVAL BATTLES, PEOPLE! lol It was just so insane for me! I felt like I was walking through one of my favorite Disney movies, Hercules. J I think I would need to visit every amazing place at least a dozen times before I realized where I was and how monumental it was—it was that surreal!

Everything was massive. But it was all so perfectly detailed, down to the statues on the top of the building that nobody would ever see up close. lol

I just wanted to sit and bask in all the beautiful architecture.

I need to start planning my next trip to Italy. 

Happy Half-Birthday!

Today is my half birthday! And it’s entirely unimportant and I don’t ever celebrate it and I won’t start today so don’t worry. BUT, I do plan on enjoying my day to the fullest. J

And since it IS my half-birthday I should reflect on the things that I have and haven't kept up with concerning my little year-plan. 

January- Make a list everyday of 5 things I was thankful for. 

I stuck to it!!! And let me tell you that some days it was hard, but it definitely got me through. I occasionally read through some of the things I was thankful for too. :) 

February- Make a new habit in 27 days and work out! 

Okay, okay. I only logged 9 days when I deliberately and purposely worked out. But hey, 9 days is better than none! Still should have pushed it over to 10 at least though. psh. FAIL. 

March- Take a picture of something beautiful everyday and scrapbook it. 

This one I can justify even though there are only two pictures in my folder. haha I take pictures ALL THE TIME. Of the beautiful people, the beautiful scenery, food, everything! So I think for all the other occasions in which I take pictures I can let myself go easy on this one.  

April- Make a list of 3 impossible things to do everyday. 

Didn't happen. Honestly? I don't even know where to start with those! :( 

May- Cook something different every week. 

Okay now this blog looks like I'm celebrating my failures...

June- Write letters. 

I think I wrote like 5. One a week. Hey that's pretty good!

July

I never had anything for July! Hahah So I think being in Italy covers that month. ;) 

So on my half-birthday I clearly am not keeping up with my own yearly plan. Being 21 is halfway done!!!!! How depressing!!! Shoot. Okay I need to get back on this wagon! I may consider re-looking at my goals for the next couple of months and making revisions, but we'll see. 

I am a little depressed that after like the first 2 months I was not keeping up with myself, but self-reflection has to be a good thing. And I'll take the reflecting a step further and do something about. 

Yes. :) 

Intoxicating Beauty

Italy may or may not be one of the first places that comes to your mind when prompted to think of beautiful places. But I know that after this experience, it will be for me. 

I love the tightly clustered buildings on the coast of Cinque Terre, that always find room for beautifully potted plants and a bright Italian flag. 

The gray/blue waves that crash up against the mighty cliff is scary and beautiful at the same time. 

The gentle roll of the hill and seeing the rows and rows of olive trees, or sweet green grapes up the slope of the mountain is so peaceful. 

I love the gold sunset that just outlines every inch of the Tuscan hills, kissing them a sweet goodnight. 

I love every cream colored house and green shutter. I want a iron balcony covered in vines and bright flowers. 

Most of all, silly as it sounds, I love the wind. Something about the constant breeze here in Firenze is just magical to me. It just takes my breath away for a second and I look and really, really try to absorb my surroundings, whenever I feel that breeze (which is quite often). I close my eyes and wish I could drink in all this beauty. If I were crazy I would bottle it in a jar and take it with me. But, maybe this place is so special because I can't see it and take it everywhere with me. 

But man. This is some intoxicating beauty.